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<channel>
	<title>And Tochi Says... Whose thoughts are YOU thinking?</title>
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	<link>http://www.tochi.us/blog</link>
	<description>Imagine what your life will become... when you start thinking for yourself.</description>
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			<item>
		<title>You Are Not Without Power, You Know</title>
		<link>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2307</link>
		<comments>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2307#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 06 Sep 2010 12:00:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tochi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Being Real]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Courage Series]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[abusive]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[accent]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[computer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[high school dropout]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[husband]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kids]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[living]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lucky college degree]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mind]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[power]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rich]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[seed]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shock]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sow]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tochi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[training]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[volunteer]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2307</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[During my college days, one of the greatest shocks I experienced as a new computer training volunteer was to hear a job seeker talk of how she was looking forward to reuniting with her abusive husband after his release from jail. &#8220;I really don&#8217;t want to get a job, &#8221; she confided, &#8220;He&#8217;s a good provider and I know he love me and the kids. [sic]&#8221; She didn&#8217;t believe me when I told her that she could make an even better living, injury-free. &#8220;I&#8217;m just a high school dropout. Who would want me anyway?&#8221; For each example of persons who had made it without a college degree, she had an excuse: &#8220;They must have come from a rich family! They must be smart! They don&#8217;t have an accent! They are lucky!&#8221; The best I could do under the circumstances was to sow the seed in her mind.
This is the thought: ...]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?feed=rss2&amp;p=2307</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Putting Life In Perspective</title>
		<link>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2435</link>
		<comments>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2435#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 04 Sep 2010 12:00:07 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tochi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Being Real]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2435</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[In the moment, the thing appears very important and very urgent. Eventually we learn and remember that one thing supersedes another: new relationships replace existing ones, new things take the place of the old, and that which was indispensable becomes outdated. Every situation has a solution, no matter how far-fetched or how unwanted such a solution may be.
We must practice putting things in perspective. That which annoys us now most likely will not matter in 24 to 48 hours from now. Billions before us dealt with the same issue, and billions after us also will, albeit in a different format in a different context.
As I write this as the sun begins its descent, I think of my past relationships, some good, some sour, some fond. Each relationship rose and set beyond the horizon of daily living. Some set &#8216;forever&#8217;; some rose again. In hindsight, I see that each relationship served ...]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?feed=rss2&amp;p=2435</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>What Is The True Cost Of Your Obedience?</title>
		<link>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2305</link>
		<comments>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2305#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 30 Aug 2010 12:00:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tochi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Being Real]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Courage Series]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[action]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bitter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cost]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[depressed]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gospel]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[liberation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[obedience]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[results]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[role]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sad]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stifle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[suffer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tochi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[true]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[truth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[vengeful]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2305</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Each woman had the same story of short-circuited liberation to tell, albeit with a different variation. One talked of how she was forced to leave her true love &#8211; a penniless village doctor &#8211; to marry an oil company tycoon. Another talked about how the man she wanted was discouraged until the one she didn&#8217;t want could save up enough money to come get her. Yet another spoke about how she married whom she wanted and was abandoned by her family till the day of the telling. All agreed that the stories of fulfillment they had been told &#8211; doing as they were told and maintaining their predefined roles &#8211; weren&#8217;t true. Now they had become bewildered, bitter, sad, depressed and vengeful. They wanted others to suffer, just as they had suffered.
This is the thought: The mere fact that someone is family or friend does not make everything they say ...]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?feed=rss2&amp;p=2305</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Is It Really True?</title>
		<link>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2393</link>
		<comments>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2393#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 28 Aug 2010 15:00:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tochi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Being Real]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[advert]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[benefit]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bible]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[blame]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[compensation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[consequence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[decision]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lie]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[manipulate]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marketer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mislead]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pastor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[profit]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[public relations]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[punish]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[read]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[repeat]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[repetition]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[result]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[say]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[think]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tochi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[true]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[truth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[woman]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[write]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2393</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[

&#8220;Are you married?&#8221;
&#8220;No, I&#8217;m not.&#8221;
&#8220;Why not? You are a very beautiful woman. Do you have a problem with men?&#8221;
&#8220;No, I don&#8217;t have a problem with men. I choose not to get married, at least for now.&#8221;
&#8220;How can you say you don&#8217;t want to get married? God said that every woman must marry!&#8221;
&#8220;Really? When did God tell you that all women must marry?&#8221;
&#8220;It&#8217;s written in the Bible! Don&#8217;t you believe the Bible as God&#8217;s word?&#8221;
&#8220;Really? Where exactly is it written in the Bible that God said that all women must get married?&#8221;
&#8220;I don&#8217;t know the particular place where it&#8217;s written, but I know it&#8217;s in the Bible. Our pastor has said so on more than one occasion.&#8221;

The majority of misinformation that brings us grief comes from solely depending on the utterances and writings of others. Marketers, advertisers and public relation experts know this from experience and results: Repetition creates the impression ...]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?feed=rss2&amp;p=2393</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Think You&#8217;re Safe?</title>
		<link>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2303</link>
		<comments>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2303#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 23 Aug 2010 12:00:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tochi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Being Real]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Courage Series]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[abandon]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[attention]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[business]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[clothes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[comfort]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[defend]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[education]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[evil]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[excuse]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[food]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[freedom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[friend]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[help]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[imagine]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[isolation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[leap]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mentor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[network]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[opinion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[protect]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[question]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[resources]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[roof]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[safe]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[save]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shelter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sponsor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[target]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[think]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tochi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[watch]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2303</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;It&#8217;s none of my business.&#8221; &#8220;I don&#8217;t want to draw attention to myself.&#8221; &#8220;What if I become the target?&#8221; &#8220;My people will abandon me.&#8221; &#8220;What if people find out?&#8221; &#8220;Somebody is watching.&#8221; And other excuses. Looking the other way when you are in the position and have the power to help, save, protect, comfort or defend. Standing down evil involves the littlest things: Listening with attention. Pointing the way to freedom. Giving of resources. Introducing a new network of friends, mentors and sponsors. Subtly influencing opinions. Breaking forced isolation. Asking the difficult questions. Providing food. Providing clothes. Providing shelter. Providing education. Showing how to leap into freedom.
This is the thought: You imagine security for yourself and yours when you look the other way as evil happens.
Fear nothing.
/tochi
The image used in this post is courtesy of the contributors to Creative Commons. I am immensely grateful.
]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?feed=rss2&amp;p=2303</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Do You Have Your Exit Strategy Yet?</title>
		<link>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2368</link>
		<comments>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2368#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 21 Aug 2010 12:00:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tochi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Being Real]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[benefit]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bondage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[commitment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[condition]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[discern]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[distress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[execute]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[exit]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[experience]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fearlessness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[freedom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[influence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[manipulate]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mental]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mentality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[permanent]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[plan]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sacrifice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[security]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[situation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[strategy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tochi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[truth]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2368</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;I can afford to tell you the plain, unvarnished truth, sir,&#8221; she said, &#8220;because I have nothing to lose in this game. You have nothing of mine to hold to ransom. I am free to come and go as the wind, and my allegiance is only to myself.&#8221;
People want us to commit, because they want to feel a high degree of certainty that things will go according to their plans. This is why it is much easier to get into things than to get out of them. Think of marriage. Think of mortgages. Think of children. Think of car notes. Think of layaways. Think of plastic surgery. Think of all the situations where it is so easy to sign on the dotted line to get in, but require an attorney to get out of.
The problem with trying to arrange &#8217;security&#8217; is that people and conditions change. Someone who likes us ...]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?feed=rss2&amp;p=2368</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Create Your Own Alternatives</title>
		<link>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2301</link>
		<comments>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2301#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 16 Aug 2010 12:00:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tochi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Being Real]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Courage Series]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[alternative]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anything]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[can't]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[choice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[decision]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[greedy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[guarantee]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[never]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nothing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[option]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[satisfied]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[thankful]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ungrateful]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[without]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[won't]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2301</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;You will never make it without me!&#8221;
&#8220;I made you what you are today!&#8221;
&#8220;You can&#8217;t do anything else.&#8221;
&#8220;You don&#8217;t know how to do anything else.&#8221;
&#8220;Why play with a guaranteed thing?&#8221;
&#8220;Why do you want to suffer for nothing?&#8221;
&#8220;Be satisfied with what you got.&#8221;
&#8220;Be thankful for the little you have.&#8221;
&#8220;Don&#8217;t be greedy!&#8221;
&#8220;Without me, you are nothing!&#8221;
&#8220;You will do as I say, whether you like it or not.&#8221;
&#8220;This is how it is.&#8221;
&#8220;Are you ungrateful?&#8221;
&#8220;This is not for women/girls/boys/men/black people/white people/&#038;c.&#8221;
and so on and so forth.
Are these really, really, really true?
If you had alternatives, would they (still) be true?
This is the thought: When you create alternatives for yourself, you are no longer bound by other people&#8217;s meaningless rules and rituals. Armed with options, you discover that you&#8217;re not a prisoner after all. You can walk away and do what&#8217;s important to you. 
Fear nothing.
/tochi
The image used in this post is courtesy of the contributors to ...]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?feed=rss2&amp;p=2301</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Influence Yourself With Music</title>
		<link>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2361</link>
		<comments>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2361#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 14 Aug 2010 12:00:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tochi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Being Real]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[alcohol]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[brain]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conscious]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[depress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[despot]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[drugs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[elevate]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[environment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[food]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[government]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hope]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[influence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[inspire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[invigorate]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lyrics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[medicate]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mellow]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[memory]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mental]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mind]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mood]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[music]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[noise]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[radio]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[resonate]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sensation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[soothe]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spiritual]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[subconscious]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[telephone]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[television]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tochi]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2361</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It is generally well-accepted that music can elevate or depress the mood. It is a great influencer, and has been used as such for ages. Music affects the mind &#8211; both the conscious and the subconscious parts. Many a message has been delivered and reinforced in the mind via music. That is why despotic leaders and governments feel threatened by musicians and their creative outputs, even to the point of putting the artistes to death.
How can we use this knowledge to our advantage? Personally, I use music to reinforce certain concepts within my own psyche. To make this happen, I select music with lyrics I can understand and agree with. Then I listen for the tune &#8211; is it catchy enough to make me repeat the lyrics? I also select certain lyric-less music for their mood-modulating effects. The gamut runs from classical to neo-soul. Whatever resonates with me at a ...]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?feed=rss2&amp;p=2361</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Find Your Family</title>
		<link>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2299</link>
		<comments>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2299#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 09 Aug 2010 12:00:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tochi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Being Real]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Courage Series]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[accent]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[background]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[choose]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[color]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[discover]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[find]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[laughter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[potluck]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tears]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[thank]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tochi]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2299</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Lots of laughter. Piano music in the background. Side tables loaded with various potluck dishes. At various times, we walked over to hug the guest of honor &#8211; an elderly man, who lived all by himself, though you couldn&#8217;t have told it from the number of people in the church dining room. many of us called him father, others brother; a couple of comely matrons pseudo-squabbled over who was his true lady love. His face was beet red as he laughed alound and pleaded for peace. Someone started clinking their silverware on their glass to gain our attention. As we got quiet and listened, tears of joy began to glisten on many cheeks as he thanked us &#8211; of different colors and accents and backgrounds &#8211; for being his true family.
This is the thought: Your true family are the people you discover yourself; the ones you love because you chose ...]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?feed=rss2&amp;p=2299</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Life, The Great Equalizer</title>
		<link>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2311</link>
		<comments>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2311#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 07 Aug 2010 12:00:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tochi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Being Real]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[children]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[equalizer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lesson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[teach]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tochi]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2311</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Growing up, I had cousins who had the best of what there was, while the rest of us made do. They went to the best schools, ate the best food, went on vacations with their parents, and lacked for no good and necessary thing. We, on the other hand, were told to stop complaining, told to make do with next to nothing, and were told to be mindful of our station in life. We had pointed out to us, with great regularity, other relatives who were in such abject poverty that they couldn&#8217;t even lift their eyes from the ground.
Ah, life the great equalizer! The great have become humble, and the humble have been promoted. We, the previously poor, all sit together and laugh about it now. The previously wealthy relatives have &#8211; in their own stiff, formal and reluctant way &#8211; made friends with us. It is necessary for ...]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?feed=rss2&amp;p=2311</wfw:commentRss>
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		<title>Do What You Have To Do</title>
		<link>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2297</link>
		<comments>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2297#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 02 Aug 2010 12:00:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tochi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Being Real]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Courage Series]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[brainwashed]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[company]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[corporation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dance naked]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[decision]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[defeminized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[do]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[freedom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[job]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[money]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[news]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[phone]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[powerless]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[subservient]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tochi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[truth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[what]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2297</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;Let me see what phone calls I can make on your behalf,&#8221; she said to me. &#8220;You understand that your job at this corporation is tenuous at best right now. You have stepped on the wrong toes. Believe me, I know that you are telling the truth of what happened to you. But you know that jobs are hard to come by and the money is good. All you had to do was keep your head down, keep your mouth shut and be obedient.&#8221; 
In that one moment I knew that it was time for me to make the break for my freedom, while I still had the energy and determination to do so. I did not want to be like her, brainwashed, powerless, subservient, de-feminized, with no options, fifteen years later. So I fled and never looked back.
This is the thought: Ultimately, it&#8217;s on you. If you have to ...]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?feed=rss2&amp;p=2297</wfw:commentRss>
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		<title>How To Get Through Adversity</title>
		<link>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2377</link>
		<comments>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2377#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 30 Jul 2010 12:00:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tochi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Being Real]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[activist]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[adversity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[appear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bible]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[can]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[challenge]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[control]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fortitude]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[get through]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[judge]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mental chatter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[must]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[never]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[overwhelm]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[prepare]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[price]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[prize]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[replenish]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[resistance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[should]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sink]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[success]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[swim]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tochi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trouble]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[widow]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2377</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Each one of us will most definitely go some adversity in this life. As long as we are alive, troubles must come. Our reaction to adversity will determine is we will sink or swim!
Many of us focus on the trouble, talking about it, thinking about it, studying it and becoming experts in its minutiae. Ostensibly, this is to help us get out of it; but the time and effort spent on this study frequently yields results opposite to the solution that we desire. This is because our mind can simply get overwhelmed by the issue and force us to take the least line of resistance to it &#8211; sinking into either numbing our minds (with food, drink, drugs, whatever) or total collapse (physically and/or mentally, coma, suicide, insanity).
The best way to get through adversity is to rigorously prepare for it. There doesn&#8217;t have to be a specific trouble we should ...]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?feed=rss2&amp;p=2377</wfw:commentRss>
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		<item>
		<title>Who Really has The Power To Label Another?</title>
		<link>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2280</link>
		<comments>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2280#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 26 Jul 2010 12:00:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tochi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Being Real]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Courage Series]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[agree]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[color]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[control]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[define]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[destroy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fight]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[filter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[label]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[name]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[power]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[speak up]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tochi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[walk away]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2280</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When a name is given, it is the label that colors and defines the subject in the eyes of the beholders. When a derogatory label is given, it becomes and issue of control; I have the power. Do as I say, and I&#8217;ll re-label you better. Is this really true? What if I don&#8217;t agree with or want your label? What if I choose to exercise my own power to label and define myself? What then?
We have choices. Sometimes the answer is to stay and fight, sometimes the answer is to speak up, sometimes the answer is to walk away. But it is never the correct answer to remain and accept the label that destroys you from the inside out.
Fear nothing.
/tochi
The image used in this post is courtesy of the contributors to Creative Commons. I am immensely grateful.
]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?feed=rss2&amp;p=2280</wfw:commentRss>
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		<title>The Lonely Yet Rewarding Path</title>
		<link>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2353</link>
		<comments>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2353#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 24 Jul 2010 12:00:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tochi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Being Real]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[adjust]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dark]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[depression]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hard]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[help]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lonely]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[medications]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mental fog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[path]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[prescription]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[struggle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tochi]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2353</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[One of my female friends decided to claw her way out of prescription medications. They were supposed to alleviate her depression, but she found out that she was moving through her life as if in a mental fog, motiveless, aimless and uncaring. She hardly knew whether anyone was coming or going. She couldn&#8217;t connect with herself, or anyone else for that matter. yet when she mentioned her concerns to her physician, he warned her not to discontinue the medications, adding that this was how it was going to be for the rest of her life.
Something inside of her refused to give up. she knew that there had to be a better way to face and deal with life. With the help of sympathetic souls, she gradually weaned herself off of the drugs. Then the real drama started. With nothing to blunt her mind anymore, she began to see things for ...]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>Why Do You Think It&#8217;s There In The First Place?</title>
		<link>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2277</link>
		<comments>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2277#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 19 Jul 2010 12:00:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tochi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Being Real]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Courage Series]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ayaan hirsi ali]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[caged virgin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[circumcision]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[enough]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[female]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[God]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mistake]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[no]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[survive]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[thrive]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tochi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[woman]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[women]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2277</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I reread Ayaan Hirsi Ali&#8217;s books &#8211; The Caged Virgin &#8211; and asked, &#8220;Why female gential mutilation, aka female circumcision? and I answered myself, &#8220;To tame the woman, because the burden of maintaining purity is hers. Then I asked again: &#8220;Why are so many women, in the countries where this is practiced,at the forefront of championing this dreadful thing?&#8221; Answer: &#8220;The abused becomes the abuser. Misery needs company. Where thriving is not an option, surviving is the only thing.&#8221;
Did anyone stop to ask why women were created just so? Or is someone trying to say that God made a mistake, and they need to correct it? What if all the women with power just said, &#8220;No more. Enough is enough.&#8221;?
Fear nothing.
/tochi
The image used in this post is courtesy of the contributors to Creative Commons. I am immensely grateful.
]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?feed=rss2&amp;p=2277</wfw:commentRss>
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		<title>Fear Is Contagious!</title>
		<link>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2347</link>
		<comments>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2347#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 17 Jul 2010 12:00:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tochi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Being Real]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[abuse]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[audience]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[blame]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[contagious]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[courage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[loss]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lost]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[misuse]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[motive]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[oppression]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[participate]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[persecution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[repetition]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[savior]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[story]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[storytelling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[suffer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sympathy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tochi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[victim]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[woe is me]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2347</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I love the old native American proverb that states: &#8220;If you hang out long enough at a barbershop, you will get a haircut.&#8221; If we stay long enough with a certain kinds of people, their attitudes and beliefs will rub off on us. And before we realize it, we will be thinking and acting just like them.
Our friends make or break us. Those dreams and goals that we want to achieve in our lives can be helped or hindered by the kind of company we keep. We tend to place much value on the opinions of those close to us. If they pooh-pooh our ideas, we tend to get discouraged and may abandon ship altogether. If they are enthusiastic about what we share with them, we are emboldened to go forward with more gusto.
I used to hang out with certain people who were always telling stories of persecution. They recounted, ...]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>People Will Say, People Will Say&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2268</link>
		<comments>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2268#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 12 Jul 2010 12:00:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tochi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Being Real]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Courage Series]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[blouse]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[care]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[clothes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[people]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[say]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tochi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[uncomfortable]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[yellow]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2268</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[My hand hovers over my clothes on hangers, as my eyes scan for colors I feel like wearing today. I pick a yellow sleeveless blouse, look at it, put it back. People will say it&#8217;s too bright and revealing for the office. I pull out a long yellow dress with spaghetti straps. Then I look for a yellow blouse with sleeves to wear with it. I put the assemble on, look at myself in the mirror. I am drenched in sweat from the heat of the morning. Vaguely, I feel uncomfortable. This is not what I want to wear.
People will say, people will say&#8230; How about what you and I have to say? Do others care about what we will say as much as we care about what they will say to us? 
Fear nothing.
/tochi
The image used in this post is courtesy of the contributors to Creative Commons. I am ...]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?feed=rss2&amp;p=2268</wfw:commentRss>
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		<item>
		<title>What Is Destiny?</title>
		<link>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2309</link>
		<comments>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2309#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 10 Jul 2010 12:00:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tochi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Being Real]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[action]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[astrology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[calamity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[chance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[destiny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divination]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fortune]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fortuneteller]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[future]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[graphology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[intervention]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[intuition]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[knowledge]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[luck]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[manipulate]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[numerology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[palmistry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[payment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[plan]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[planning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[prayer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[predestined]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[prediction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[result]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self dicipline]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tochi]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2309</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Around the world, we hear of people talk about &#8216;destiny&#8217;, the concept that one&#8217;s life is predestined by a power that is beyond the ken of humans. Anxious to plan for or around this fixed future, people then consult fortunetellers &#8211; those they believe can &#8216;read&#8217;, intepret and influence the designs of this power in fortuitous ways.
Many, many, many, many years ago, I used to be heavily vested in fortune-telling. I knew all about palmistry, astrology, numerology, graphology, tarot and more. I was so good at this that I even did readings for other people. predictions were best situated in some distant future, usually measured in years. This gave the seeker no option but to believe and wait, while the diviner collected payment in the present. But at the end of the day, no reading was guaranteed. Many predictions never ever came to pass. By the time of fulfillment came ...]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?feed=rss2&amp;p=2309</wfw:commentRss>
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		<item>
		<title>Courage Attracts Help</title>
		<link>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2259</link>
		<comments>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2259#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 05 Jul 2010 12:00:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tochi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Being Real]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Courage Series]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[attract]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[awake]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[claws]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[courage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dream]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fangs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[forest]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[help]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[path]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shout]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sleep]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[snarl]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tiger]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tochi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wake up]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2259</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[As I walked with him along the forest path, we came across a sleek, grayish tiger. We stopped to look at it. The tiger quickly paced in a circle around us, watching me with its dark eyes, its body tensing to pounce. I shouted at it. It stopped and snarled back at me, baring its formidable fangs. My companion threw something at it, then beat it off with a log of wood. The creature fled into the bushes. I woke up.
We sleep with our eyes wide open, and think we are awake. No, we are still dreaming. Wake up. WAKE UP! Bare your fangs and claws. Shout back. Courage attracts the help that repels fear.
Fear nothing.
/tochi
The image used in this post is courtesy of the contributors to Creative Commons. I am immensely grateful.
]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?feed=rss2&amp;p=2259</wfw:commentRss>
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		<item>
		<title>Don&#8217;t Despise Small Beginnings</title>
		<link>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2228</link>
		<comments>http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2228#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 03 Jul 2010 12:00:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tochi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Being Real]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[10]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[100]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[50]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[begin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[beginning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[children]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[courage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[creativity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[face]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fifty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[help]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hundred]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[innocent]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[reputation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[small]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[socialization]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spontaneous]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ten]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[them]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tochi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[train]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[training]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[us]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tochi.us/blog/?p=2228</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I enjoy hanging out with very young kids for many reasons, especially for this: Their spontaneity. Most of them haven&#8217;t learned what&#8217;s impossible. That inspires me to no end.
Generally, if children try something and it doesn&#8217;t work out immediately, their first inclination is to keep on trying several times until it either succeeds or they are convinced it isn&#8217;t working. Then they ask for help. Normal children are not shy about asking for help; they don&#8217;t worry if they look good, smell good, sound good or any of that stuff when they need help. They just go on ahead and do what they want to do. Do first, worry about the consequences later. 
When do children tend to start telling lies and keeping their thoughts to themselves? Usually after heavy doses of adult socialization, aka &#8216;training&#8217; kicks in. Then the innocent start speaking the language of &#8216;us&#8217; and &#8216;them&#8217;. They ...]]></description>
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		</item>
	</channel>
</rss>
